Relationships

"GOD TOLD ME TO MARRY YOU"...AND WHAT GOD REALLY SAID

"GOD TOLD ME TO MARRY YOU"...AND WHAT GOD REALLY SAID

Long, long ago, I belonged to a church where it wasn’t uncommon for members to “know” the specific person “God” told them they were destined to marry. A good friend of mine at the time believed God revealed to her that our pastor’s armor bearer (assistant/Bible toter/water getter/forehead wiper) was her husband to be. Another member said God told her she would marry one of our church’s ministers. And I believed the Lord told me a popular radio personality (and church member) was destined to be my hubby. Suffice it say, each of us found ourselves looking like an idiot as time and circumstance played out.  The pastor’s armor bearer ended up marrying another woman within six months of meeting her. The minister simply used the other young lady for sex as she pined away hoping he’d one day see they were meant to be. And my radio personality hubby-to-be told me flat out that I wasn’t “the one”, went on to marry a gorgeous gospel artist and (10+ years later) they remain married and have an adorable family.

Since leaving that church, I’ve come to learn that our embarrassingly mistaken “revelations” aren’t uncommon among professed believers in other churches, either. I’ve since met another young lady who so sincerely believed God told her a specific guy was her husband that she remained single and waited for him for 13 years! (THIIIIIIIR-TEEEEEN...YEEEEEAAAAARRRRSSSS!!!!) Meanwhile, that gentleman barely knew her name, and if I recall correctly, he also went off to marry someone else.

"Hello, I'm a Christian and Physical Attraction is Important to Me"

"Hello, I'm a Christian and Physical Attraction is Important to Me"

As a Christian woman, it’s hard to admit that physical attraction is one of my non-negotiables. I'm often made to feel like I’m confessing some secret sin from which I require immediate deliverance, as if wanting to be attracted to my spouse makes me carnal, superficial or “loose”. Now, it is quite possible my present perspective on this topic is spiritually immature. I might look back on this piece years from now, perhaps after I’m married, and find that my current priorities are slightly out of whack. Nevertheless, I feel very strongly about this at the moment and, even on the chance that it isn’t the most mature perspective, I’m certain it isn’t a sinful one.

What Your Single Friends REALLY Think About Your Engagement

What Your Single Friends REALLY Think About Your Engagement

It seems within weeks an engagement occurs, female friendships can begin to take a nasty, catty turn. According to my social media timelines, these cat fights rear their ugly heads because a single friend is now “hating” on the newly engaged friend. It's a sad state of affairs, people. So, this post is inspired by a lot of what I've seen play out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and much, much more.  I’m writing this in love, and in an effort to help you repair and maintain important relationships. I also seek to help others who have to watch this stuff play out in our newsfeed maintain our sanity - ladies, we honestly can't take another passive aggressive status update or meme.

So, engaged ladies, here are four things your single female friends are most likely thinking about your impending nuptials.

Ayesha Curry: The Accidental Threat to THOTs Everywhere

Ayesha Curry: The Accidental Threat to THOTs Everywhere

Tried as I might to find the intelligence and validity in the arguments of those who took issue with her words, I’ve now settled in my heart that the points they raised aren’t worthy of any further cerebral activity.

Nope!  Not one more precious brain cell will be used to intellectualize an argument that is so clearly rooted in tom-foolery!

In my opinion, their issue with her has nothing to do with feminism or women’s rights and very much to do with the fact that Ayesha’s sentiments are a threat to what I call the “THOT life”.

"Protected Sex" Doesn't Make Sense...There, I Said It

"Protected Sex" Doesn't Make Sense...There, I Said It

If I'm honest, the concept of "protected" sex doesn't make any real sense. (Wait! Hear me out!)

I think practicing "protected" or "safe" sex is very smart...I just don't find it to be very wise. First, to have "protected" sex, you're implying that you 1) don't know and/or 2) don't trust the person you're with.  Second, when we say “protected” and “safe” sex, we don't mean "birth control"...we mean sexual activity wherein one guards him/herself against unknown health complications, life-long diseases and terminal illnesses.

It's My Birthday: How Fighting with God is My Best Gift EVER!

It's My Birthday: How Fighting with God is My Best Gift EVER!

Today is my 35th birthday. While most people enter their birthdays thankful to see another year, I was in the midst of a knock-down, drag out fight with God not even 24 hours ago! We actually fight a lot...and He always wins. But I rather enjoy that He always takes a moment from His busy schedule to entertain lil’ old me when I feel a hankering to whine and complain.

But this fight was a bit different. This time, I was extremely upset with Him. And I made sure He knew it!