"Protected Sex" Doesn't Make Sense...There, I Said It

 The face you make after you realize you took off all of your clothes, but you can't be "naked" with him. 

The face you make after you realize you took off all of your clothes, but you can't be "naked" with him. 

If I'm honest, the concept of "protected" sex doesn't make any real sense. (Wait! Hear me out!)

I think practicing "protected" or "safe" sex is very smart...I just don't find it to be very wise. First, to have "protected" sex, you're implying that you 1) don't know and/or 2) don't trust the person you're with.  Second, when we say “protected” and “safe” sex, we don't mean "birth control"...we mean sexual activity wherein one guards him/herself against unknown health complications, life-long diseases and terminal illnesses.

So, if you don't know or trust your partner and believe they could be exposing you to some unknown issue, why are you having sex with them in the first place? Why are you deciding to engage in THE MOST physically intimate activity there is with that person, but you feel the need to "protect" yourself from them?

Why did you just remove ALL of your clothing and expose your naked skin only to turn around and put on manufactured skin designed to feel like the real thing?

Why did you grant someone access to the most private part of your body, only to put on a barrier – a barrier, by the way, that has to be lubricated because the material from which it is made impairs natural lubrication, and it undermines your ability to fully enjoy your experience?!  (What if it breaks?! What if it comes off?! What if there's a hole in it?!)

Where is the wisdom in that decision?

Moreover, do you understand the spiritual implications of your choice?

  Having sex in any way outside of the way God designed it is filled with "extra stuff". It 's like reading the ingredients on a natural food product versus those on a processed food item. It dilutes God's design for a lower quality option, an option for which most settle because they want is now and they want it fast.  This option is rigged with complications and health risks.  

Having sex in any way outside of the way God designed it is filled with "extra stuff". It 's like reading the ingredients on a natural food product versus those on a processed food item. It dilutes God's design for a lower quality option, an option for which most settle because they want is now and they want it fast.  This option is rigged with complications and health risks.  

Sex was designed to be a way for husband and wife to express their vulnerability to one another. Their physical nakedness symbolizes being completely and freely emotionally "naked" with their partner. Just like any aspect of a married relationship, with sex your spouse sees parts of you that no one else gets to see. They experience a part of you that no one else gets to experience - flaws and all! You engage in a private "conversation" that entails details to which no one else is privy. Through the intimacy of sex, you worship your relationship...letting down all of your guards and barriers because you TRUST your partner. You can just go with the flow (pun intended) because the two of you are connected - taking cues from one another's rhythm because you KNOW your partner.  It symbolizes the freeness and a oneness of the spiritual worship that we should experience with God. (Everything God created has a spiritual implication…everything He gifted us to experience in the natural mirrors some aspect of our relationship with Him.)

BUT, when you take something sacred - something God created - and add “extra stuff” to it, you pervert it. If you don't know or trust the person with whom you've decided to share an intimate moment, you have to take extra precautions. Condoms are typically used by 1) the unmarried who are sexually active and 2) the married who are sexually active outside of their marriage. For those who didn’t catch what I’m dropping: You have to depend on manmade protection when you have sex outside of a marriage, which most know (at least on some level) is outside of the will of God. (Even Trey Songz - that lil’ dude who “invented sex” - sends up a light-weight prayer of repentance before he carnally gets it in: "I got a confession..Know we 'bout to sin, but your body is a blessing. Please, Father, forgive meeee!!!”)

When you do anything to amend God's natural design, you have to do the "extra stuff" to get back to the originally intended effect. You strip God's design of its organic, naturally occurring ingredients only to add back in fillers and artificial additives to shore up (a diluted grade of) the benefits. THEN, you have to jump through hoops to guard against the impending consequences of consuming your new, low-quality concoction! (Sorry for the food parable. I'm hungry and writing this before breakfast.) What I'm saying is when you step outside of the will of God, you lose the blessing of His covering (which is of supreme quality and foolproof) and become subjected to the rules and consequences of the world. You settle for less.

For those who abide by the sexual rules of the world, I want to be clear that I can 100% agree that “protected sex” is the smartest thing you can do for your sexual health. (If you're going to be foolish, at least be smart about it.) But the tomfoolery that has to be exercised to engage in "protected" or "safe" sex (sex outside of marriage...sex the world's way) doesn’t make any spiritual or practical sense.  Sex, like spiritual worship, is best when you’re FULLY NAKED – and you can only be fully naked with someone you know and trust...someone with whom you feel safe and protected. Yet, the world requires that you put on a man-made covering to feel safe and protected - and the crazy thing is it's not even 100% safe, nor does it provide full protection! (Please let that marinate. 

But if you’re supposed to be saved, sanctified, and set apart, your safety and protection should come from God – and that comes by walking in His ways.  If you profess to be Christian (a follower of Christ) - especially if you’ve been saved for quite some time, sing in the choir, and go to church twice on Sundays - but still have one foot in the world when it comes to sex, you’re forfeiting your Covering as well. (God offers forgiveness, mercy and grace, but our actions still have consequences in one way or another.) You are not to be conformed to this world. Your mind is supposed to be renewed. As a visiting pastor at my church recently said, “Faith is not à la carte. You can’t say, ‘Give me two scoops of "favor", but I don’t want none of that "obedience"'.”  I think he hit the nail on the head. You can't go around professing to love God but don't even try to do what pleases Him.  And please don't let the idea of being obedient to Him scare you…God’s yoke is actually very easy and His burden truly is light. It is the world that complicates (or perverts) the things God established. They’re the ones with the all of the extra rules. They're the ones doing the most to enjoy what is perhaps the most natural and basic activity of our existence. His way is always easiest. His way is our protection.

But the choice is ultimately yours. Do you want to be a smart in the ways of man or wise in the ways of God? You can certainly continue running to the drug store to buy a box of man-made skin to feel safer about getting naked with someone you don’t know or trust. OR, you can finally and fully get naked before God; you can finally focus on getting to know and trust Him on a more intimate level.  Again…totally your choice.

~@VeritéEtFeu

15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”
— Deuteronomy 30:15-20