Good day good people! I greet you for a third day in a row not because Truth + Fire is going to be a daily blog, but because so much happened in pop culture last week that I'm still playing catch up!
As of today, Caitlyn Jenner has been enjoying her new life as a woman (at least in the public eye) for eight glorious days. She was welcomed with overwhelming support for her bravery, her new social media accounts amassed thousands of followers within only hours, and she's been deemed the new face of fabulousness, with some even speculating she looks better than her ex-wife Kris. Ah! Yes! 'Tis very good being a woman! And what better way to display the essence of being a woman than on the cover of Vanity Fair donned in a satin corset, and accessorized with 'vava voom' cleavage, a POPPIN' red lip, and an elegant coif! Yassss! She's a woman nah - and, frankly, the world is just going to have to DEAL WITH IT!
But I am having trouble dealing with it.
In the grand scheme of things, I'm sure Caitlyn and her supporters couldn't care less about what I think or feel - and that's perfectly fine. But in the interest of those who may feel the same as I, but feel shamed into silence, I'll make myself the sacrificial lamb and attempt to convey our thoughts on this matter. (You're welcome, guys!)
And before anyone readies their fingers to fire off comments and tweets about how hateful and transphobic I am, please understand that I truly don't care that deeply about what another grown adult chooses to do with their life. Truthfully speaking, my faith and everything that makes sense to me about how the world works is most certainly running counter to what society is now attempting to force me to accept and understand. Yet, my issue with all of this doesn't really derive from that.
You see, I'm insulted. I'm jealous. I'm offended. Darn it, I. am. hatin'!
You mean to tell me Caitlyn gets to just pop up and be this fierce woman (and be fully embraced as such), while I and other naturally born women had, have AND will have to go through so much CRAP just to define our voice and our being in this society? You mean to tell me Caitlyn gets to demand to be called "Caitlyn" (and you get bullied off Twitter if you slip and say "he") while we're still trying to get men like her stepson-in-law to not refer to women, in general, as 'bitches' in their music? Is this for real?
Seriously, society, be straight up with me here: Is this how we're doing this?
I don't understand Caitlyn's plight and I truly do pray for her and wish her the best, if for nothing else as a fellow human being. But, as the kids say, I'm feeling some type of way. As a matter of fact, I was so in my feelings last week that I posted the following on Instagram. It's not meant to offend anyone. But it is meant to defend womanhood. Please know that there are levels to this: social, cultural, political, economic and, yes, biological levels. In other words, there is WAY more to being a woman than lipstick and corsets, thus I humbly ask men who wish to live as women to please do us a favor and not undermine our value in that way. I hope you guys can appreciate where I'm coming from. But, if you don't: DEAL WITH IT! After all, Caitlyn now gets to live in her truth, and so can I.
Love being a woman. Love monthly cramps for at least 30 years of your life. Love not having cramps because you're going through menopause...or had to have a hysterectomy...or simply because you have to dope yourself up just to deal with the pain. Love being a young girl having to adjust to bleeding unexpectedly and fearing the embarrassment of a potential accident if you're not prepared. Love the awkwardness of developing breasts when none of your peers have them...or the awkwardness of NOT yet having breasts when your peers already have theirs. Love the sudden uncomfortable attention you begin to get from boys (and men) when those beasts finally come in. Love carrying another human being for at least 9 months of your life...and birthing that human being...and instantly having to put your life on hold to raise that human being (whether your partner chooses to stay and help)...and having to work extra hard to get back to your pre-baby weight to please your husband...and society. Love making 30% less than men. Love having your opinion less respected than that of a man. Love fearing for your safety simply because you choose to walk down the street...alone... at night. Love being blamed for being raped. Love being told that YOU "got" pregnant, as if your partner had no role. Love being considered unattractive simply because you were blessed to have multiple birthdays...or because you're heavier than the photoshopped model and female celebrity with a nanny, a personal chef and an assistant to give her the time to stay in shape...or because you're opinionated...or because you cut your hair...or because you're darker...or because the wind blew and your shape and the way God built you is no longer on trend. Love understanding that being a woman is MORE than getting to wear nail polish and dresses! Love being a woman with no money, and no fame and with none of the accoutrements that make BEING a "woman" in this world a lot easier. Love that God, in His wisdom, gave you the gift of being a woman. Love that being a woman is more than simply "Feeling" like a woman. Love BEING a woman, 100% of the time - with all its benefits and shortcomings. Love. It. ALL!